figuring it out
On September 9, 2022, I was laid off…twice…within 45 minutes. It’s a long story, and I already have too many long stories to tell. Point is: full-time digital agency job, gone. Fun side-gig job, gone too. All in one fell swoop. I don’t mean to be dramatic about the date — I only know it because I went straight to Erewhon and got myself the $15 protein bowl (paid for with a gift card from said digital agency). Naturally I took a photo of it, and you know, timestamps.
the iconic post-double-layoff-protein-bowl photo
Anyway, getting “let go” isn’t a good feeling. But getting let go twice, from both of your jobs, which are completely separate and unrelated, in the span of an hour? Honestly, at least for me — and I don’t know how many others have actually had the same experience to be able to refute this — it was just plain comical. It was so not funny that it was actually really funny.
But I’m so glad it happened this way. Because it felt less like my life was falling apart, and more like God was trying to tell me something. And I think if I’d only gotten one layoff that day, I wouldn’t have bothered to try to figure out what that was.
I fell into marketing ten years ago, and have kind of been coasting through on autopilot ever since. I’ve always worked for good agencies with smart, talented coworkers, but I never really felt like I was one of them. I never felt like I contributed anything meaningful to my work, or that my work contributed anything meaningful to my life (or to anyone else’s). The truth is I just didn’t care enough. And at 33, just a month into my “Jesus Year”, this somehow felt like my chance to change that.
My mom always used to joke that my catchphrase is “I’ll figure out”. And she’s not wrong…I often don’t know what I want or where I’m going, but with my lackadaisical attitude and general lack of ability to identify and process my emotions, my go-to response is usually just to shrug and think, “I’ll figure it out.” So that’s what I’m doing.
After some prayer and soul searching and trying to find that point where my gifts and skills and passions intersect, there was one thing I kept coming back to: food. It always comes back to food for me. Eating it, cooking it, writing about it, learning about it, sharing it with people I love. That’s what I care about.
So that’s where I’m at now: pursuing this passion God gave me, in hope that it’ll bring more purpose along with it. (This whole process has already brought a lot more calories my way, so fingers crossed they aren’t all being consumed in vain).
I’m off to Florence, Italy for a summer culinary course. I have no idea what to expect, or if I’ll be any good at this, or how much I’ll learn, or where this will lead. I’m not really sure about anything yet, but I’m about to take the next step in figuring it out. Want to come with me? Andiamo.
